Cats

[BOB BRODY]

Well the English muffins bit originated by my father who felt sorry for
the Setter (he's the family spokesman (the Setter, that is) and his
offspring continue the tradition) because (true stuff here) the dog (in
my father's opinion) was struggling trying to chew a bagel (doughy
stuff) so he toasted him an English muffin. (This is factual origin I'm
talkin' here, c.1967.) From that point, the dog (Sean, by name, with
papers, no less) wanted English muffins every morning. My father's a
good guy and obliged. Then Sean sired a few ponies (cuz that's what
they looked liked; all legs, no body) and they couldn't chew the English
muffin, being so young. So my father brainstormed (without use of a
computer) to melt some cheese on top to make it softer. Hence the
evolutionary springboard and I dare say 100 years from now all dogs will
be eating English muffins with melted cheese on top).

(Notwitstanding, as fathers can spoil a dog, the bagel factory my father
drove to back in my New Jersey days was in Wayne, New Jersey. So is
Thomas' English Muffins. You get the nexus, right? You see how it all
started, right?)

Yeah, man, I'm the father of the bride. I've gone through more spirals
of emotion this past week than I thought existed. I married young (so
did my wife, ) but I can still surf with these hotdogs that hang
around the beach yet here I am marrying off a 22-year-old daughter. She
was born yesterday and tomorrow (literally) she's getting married.
Samson had his hair but I have my kids and it will take nothing less
than the shock of the bill for this wedding to shake me from my maudlin
state of mind.